Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Day 143: The Genesis of the Chronicles of Kilo

It has been 143 days since this new pair of humans rescued me from what I can only describe as an asylum for dullards and slack-jawed lunatics.  My previous "benefactors", if you can call them that, abandoned me there on a whim.  These new humans have integrated me into their small community as an equal, instead of a curiosity and plaything, and for this I am grateful.  They have provided me with adequate food and lodging, spectacular entertainment and exercise, and an equal share in their expansive dominion.  I have in turn pledged my guardianship and affection. 

I have decided to chronicle my adventures with my new compatriots here on this device the humans seem to use for inter-pack communication.  I shall begin with today.  Life here in the fortress, while comfortable, has been lacking in excitement the past few days.  I decided to rectify this by introducing a small prank.  The male human, whom I shall refer to as Master (he fancies this title), had left as per usual, on what I can only assume are ventures to conquer new territory.  The Princess, as Master calls her, remained here later than usual.  I waited until she was distracted and took the opportunity to place two of the soft, white human foot-coverings into the water bowl.

The Princess discovered the fruits of my trickery shortly after.  She retrieved the bowl and took it to the chamber where the humans perform their daily cleansing ritual.  She placed the foot-coverings in the cleansing area and emptied the contents of the bowl.  She replenished the bowl and replaced it in its proper place, all the while eying me.  I believe she suspects me, but is unsure of my motives.  I smiled and did my best to assure her that nothing was out of the ordinary.  She left on her own conquests soon after.

The Princess returned home first, and we spent the afternoon building camaraderie, as usual.  Upon the Master's return I noticed that he was less jovial than normal.  I did my best to console him and it seemed to help some, though he did unleash all the fury of Hades on the large bag they use to hone their combat skills.  I then brought him one of the noisemakers they have given me for entertainment and we engaged in the usual battle of keep-away.

The humans entered the cleansing chamber and it was then that the Master discovered the foot-coverings.  They discussed the event in their nigh-unintelligible dialect of which I have only been able to learn a few phrases.  I couldn't understand them, but they both eyed me suspiciously.  The Master looked at me for a moment, then scratched my head and took the coverings away.  He seemed amused, and I believe I have achieved my goal.

I must return to the business of guarding the fortress from the perils of the outside world.  I must also remember to document the events of two nights ago.  For now I return to my duties.

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